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Dr. Michelle’s Top 8 Valentine’s Day “Dos” and “Don’ts”


Valentine’s Day DOs and DON’Ts

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and the day can be difficult for both sexes, whether you’re in a relationship or not.

Either way there are some do’s and dont’s to get you through the day. Relationship expert Dr. Michelle Callahan, a contributor to Women’s Health magazine, has tips on making the most of the day dedicated to love:

If You’re in a Relationship:

DO have realistic expectations

If you’re in a relationship, DO have realistic expectations about what you will receive or how you will celebrate Valentine’s Day. It is important to discuss your expectations and plans for Valentine’s Day, so no one is left disappointed. Get on the same page. A lot of people create elaborate expectations and they think something really grandiose is going to happen. It’s just really, another day of the year. I think it’s our culture why people put so much pressure on this. Valentine’s Day, many women think, should be a Hollywood version. In a lot of ways, those days are not realistic; it’s more fantasy than it is reality.

DON’T let Valentine’s Day define your relationship.

DON’T decide that what happens on Valentine’s Day defines your relationship. Don’t let a less-than-spectacular Valentine’s Day make you feel that your partner doesn’t love you. There are many ways to celebrate the day and just because the two of you don’t see them the same way doesn’t mean that your relationship isn’t strong. Gifts for one day doesn’t define a relationship. It’s just about whether people believe in doing something special on Valentines, not everyone does. It’s usually women who assume we shouldn’t even talk about this, that it should be automatic. To some men, it just doesn’t make that much sense. So don’t go running away screaming declaring you got a dud because your guy didn’t necessarily agree on what to do that day.

DO agree on how to celebrate.

DO compromise with your partner about how to celebrate — some people aren’t into the Hallmark holidays and that doesn’t mean they don’t love you and show it in other ways (not just on Valentine’s Day). Find something you can both feel comfortable doing as a way to celebrate the day. If you think its going to be a big deal or you have big expectations then you need to talk about it, your partner cant read your mind. Try to find a happy medium. Its not suppose to be a day where you’re suppose to fight. Dont put unnecessary pressure on your partner to make Valentine’s Day extra special. Sometimes Valentine’s Day shows up at a less than ideal time or your partner doesn’t see Valentine’s Day as more than a Hallmark holiday. Be sensitive to the possibility that you may see the holiday differently and if you just had a big celebration for Christmas, New Years or a birthday, going all out for Valentine’s Day may not be an option.

DON’T spend beyond your means

DON’T spend beyond your means because it’s Valentine’s Day. In this economy everyone is scaling back and you should, too. Florists increase the cost of roses sometimes 10 times just because it’s Valentine’s Day. Don’t get caught up in overpriced gimmicks when the same money can buy you and your Valentine twice as much the very next day. Given what people’s financial situation is this time around, people don’t have money, you shouldn’t feel pressured to go into debt. You don’t have to give gifts on Valentine’s Day. You don’t have to go somewhere fancy.

If You’re Single:

DO change the meaning of Valentine’s Day

If you’re single, DO change the meaning of Valentine’s Day. Make it a day to celebrate the love you have for anyone special in your life. Hang out with friends or family. If you don’t have a significant other, spend time with the other people you love. Everyone can actually enjoy the day, not just couples. Bottom line: no matter what your relationship status, DO share a valentine with your family and friends (we did it when we were kids, so why stop now?). This tradition of valentine giving will help spread a little love. You many want to try to think of someone who may be having a hard time this Valentine’s Day, and needs a pick-me-up.

DON’T feel bad

DON’T feel bad or get depressed about being single. Most people are single, and you should look forward to meeting Mr. or Ms. Right. See potential, not limitations. Focus on a positive future. Usually there’s more people who aren’t in relationships than are. People who aren’t in relationships think they should feel bad, and instead, they focus on what’s bad in their life. People should not define the significance and value of their life by whether or not they’re in a relationship and that’s what happens on Valentine’s Day.

DO get out and meet other singles.

If you’re single, DO get out and meet other single people. Go to a Valentine’s Day party or out to dinner with a group of single friends — there are a lot of parties and more singles than couples, so live it up! Get out and do something fun or that makes you feel happy. Wherever you go there are going to be tons of people who are not currently in a relationship.

DON’T stay home alone.

DON’T stay home alone. If you know you’re going to feel sad, make plans with someone to get out of your house and do something fun. Whatever you do, don’t stay home and feel bad about being single. Men are better about this than women. Men know to call a buddy, but men aren’t as vulnerable. It’s women who really are vulnerable this day. People should not stay home. If you stay home, you’re more likely to feel worse, so get out and have fun.

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