Are you really the company you keep? Can someone else’s personal life influence yours? Well, when it comes to divorce, that might actually be the case. Women’s Health contributor and psychologist Dr. Michelle Callahan appeared on CBS News to talk about a new divorce study that focuses on how a divorce of someone you know could affect your own relationship.
The study shows that if one of your friends, co-workers, or family members is getting divorced, your chance of doing the same increases pretty dramatically. Dr. Michelle discusses this and why it may be true.
Dr. Michelle and author Ian Kerner recently stopped by the CBS Early Show to discuss a male and female perspective on the right way to break up with someone. For more information on how to handle breaking up with someone, read Dr. Michelle’s blog “Top 6 Tips on How to Break-Up with Someone.”
BREAK-UP ETIQUETTE
Ending a relationship can be hard no matter what end of the break-up you’re on. If you’re the one doing the breaking up, you want to be firm, but not hurtful. And if you’re being broken up with, it can sometimes be a bitter pill to swallow, especially if it’s come via text message. Women’s Health contributor and psychologist Dr. Michelle Callahan discusses break-up etiquette and offers six steps for a clean and civilized break-up.
1. Think it through. Before you do anything, spend some time thinking things through to make sure that you are really ready to end the relationship. If you need to, give yourself some space from your partner
2. Do it in person. Don’t email or text–it’s insensitive and likely to make things escalate as your Ex pursues you in an attempt to be heard and acknowledged. If you’ve been in a relationship with this person, you owe them the opportunity to look you in the eye and discuss the ending of your relationship. If you’ve only been on a couple dates and didn’t get close but you want to let the other person know that you don’t want to continue dating you could let them know by phone or email. If you are concerned about your safety or violence, don’t deliver the bad news in person.
3. Stay calm. The other person might be really heated or upset about the breakup. Allow them to express themselves and try to end the conversation without getting emotional yourself so that you don’t argue and allow things to escalate. Don’t let your soon to be ex bait you into a big fight or violence.
Dr. Michelle appeared on the CBS Early Show to offer her Do’s and Don’ts for how to have a fun and happy Valentine’s Day.
Click Here to watch the video.
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and the day can be difficult for both sexes, whether you’re in a relationship or not.
Either way there are some do’s and dont’s to get you through the day. Relationship expert Dr. Michelle Callahan, a contributor to Women’s Health magazine, has tips on making the most of the day dedicated to love:
Valentine’s Day DOs and DON’Ts
If You’re in a Relationship:
DO have realistic expectations
If you’re in a relationship, DO have realistic expectations about what you will receive or how you will celebrate Valentine’s Day. It is important to discuss your expectations and plans for Valentine’s Day, so no one is left disappointed. Get on the same page. A lot of people create elaborate expectations and they think something really grandiose is going to happen. It’s just really, another day of the year. I think it’s our culture why people put so much pressure on this. Valentine’s Day, many women think, should be a Hollywood version. In a lot of ways, those days are not realistic; it’s more fantasy than it is reality.
DON’T let Valentine’s Day define your relationship.
DON’T decide that what happens on Valentine’s Day defines your relationship. Don’t let a less-than-spectacular Valentine’s Day make you feel that your partner doesn’t love you. There are many ways to celebrate the day and just because the two of you don’t see them the same way doesn’t mean that your relationship isn’t strong. Gifts for one day doesn’t define a relationship. It’s just about whether people believe in doing something special on Valentines, not everyone does. It’s usually women who assume we shouldn’t even talk about this, that it should be automatic. To some men, it just doesn’t make that much sense. So don’t go running away screaming declaring you got a dud because your guy didn’t necessarily agree on what to do that day.
DO agree on how to celebrate.
DO compromise with your partner about how to celebrate — some people aren’t into the Hallmark holidays and that doesn’t mean they don’t love you and show it in other ways (not just on Valentine’s Day). Find something you can both feel comfortable doing as a way to celebrate the day. If you think its going to be a big deal or you have big expectations then you need to talk about it, your partner cant read your mind. Try to find a happy medium. Its not suppose to be a day where you’re suppose to fight. Dont put unnecessary pressure on your partner to make Valentine’s Day extra special. Sometimes Valentine’s Day shows up at a less than ideal time or your partner doesn’t see Valentine’s Day as more than a Hallmark holiday. Be sensitive to the possibility that you may see the holiday differently and if you just had a big celebration for Christmas, New Years or a birthday, going all out for Valentine’s Day may not be an option.
DON’T spend beyond your means
DON’T spend beyond your means because it’s Valentine’s Day. In this economy everyone is scaling back and you should, too. Florists increase the cost of roses sometimes 10 times just because it’s Valentine’s Day. Don’t get caught up in overpriced gimmicks when the same money can buy you and your Valentine twice as much the very next day. Given what people’s financial situation is this time around, people don’t have money, you shouldn’t feel pressured to go into debt. You don’t have to give gifts on Valentine’s Day. You don’t have to go somewhere fancy.
If You’re Single:
