Recently Dr. Michelle was a guest on LX New York to discuss how to manage drinking during the holidays. Check out the video!
Of course it’s natural for everyone to think about their partner’s or future spouse’s earning potential in life because it affects your lifestyle and how you will survive financially. However, the current recession and recent years of rising unemployment should be a wake-up call to people in relationships that you will have to live through some of the “worse,” in the vows “for better or worse.” You or your partner may lose your jobs, your 401k and lifelong savings, your house or your health.
You need to be clear before you walk down the aisle that you love your partner’s spirit and personality enough that you could be happy and satisfied even when you struggle together. The most accomplished and promising looking lifestyles can be lost due to an accident or unexpected event, and then where would you be? Would you be willing to pick up the slack for your partner if they couldn’t work or help you around the house? Would you remain faithful if they couldn’t have sex for an extended period of time or ever, due to injury or illness? Would you be at home blaming them for your situation? Would you be out looking for another mate?!
No one likes to think about the hard times when they are having fun dating or planning a wedding but before you walk down the aisle, you should be sure that your partner loves the real you and not just what you can “do” for them. If all they want to do is spend your money or stand in your spotlight, you need to look for someone who will stick around when there’s less money to spend and you are now standing in the shadows.
Choose wisely and good luck!
As the host of Wedlock or Deadlock, I meet many men and women whose bad dating habits reduce their chances of finding a good mate and having a successful marriage. My book Ms. Typed: Discover Your True Dating Personality and Rewrite Your Romantic Future describes ten dating personalities that can sabotage love and prevent couples from taking that walk down the aisle. I gave each dating type a name that explains their dating challenge. Do any of these types sound like you?
• Ms. Second Place: She allows herself to be a low priority in a man’s life.
• Ms. Sex Machine: She settles for physical intimacy when she really wants an emotional connection.
• Ms. Soul Mate: She so wants to be in love that she mistakes every date for “the one.”
• Ms. Drama Queen: She only dates bad boys and unavailable men.
• Ms. Mom: She makes it a priority to fix her man’s life instead of her own.
• Ms. Anaconda: She’s so needy, she suffocates every man she dates.
• Ms. Independent: She’s been hurt before and won’t let her guard down.
• Ms. Perfect: She thinks she’s too good for every man.
• Ms. Bag Lady: She allows her “emotional baggage” to sabotage her dates.
• Ms. Rose-Colored: She ignores the truth about her mate and only sees what she wants to see.
