I get really bothered when I talk to a woman who is stuck in an unhealthy relationship and allows her partner to take advantage of and disrespect her because she doesn’t realize or appreciate all that she brings to the table as a friend and a partner.  I see this in women all the time and have certainly been there myself.  It is so important that everyone, male or female, know their worth in life so that when you meet someone who doesn’t appreciate you, you know to move on.

Often, I work with an attractive and successful woman who has a supportive family and friends. Yet, she is dating a mooching, disrespectful, self-absorbed and selfish man who makes her feel like he’s doing her a favor by dating her.  Well, as long as she believes that, then she will continue to tolerate it, when instead she should be dating a man who thinks she’s so great that he thinks he better hurry up and marry her before someone else does!

How do people end up in these situations? There are so many ways and many reasons.  Most of the time it is definitely a self-esteem issue, where despite the love you receive at home and your success in the business world, if you have not had much success in your personal life, you can be a totally different person when it comes to romance.  You may feel like you can’t wait around for Ms./Mr. Right or that you can’t resist Ms./Mr. Wrong.  Imagine how hard it is for those people who come from unloving homes to go out there and demand the love they’ve never experienced and don’t even know for sure exists.

I wrote my book Ms. Typed: Discover Your True Dating Personality and Find Dating Success because I have known and worked with so many women who have lost themselves and their true personalities in a relationship and allowed their partners to drag them down, turn them into someone they are not meant to be, and make them believe they deserve even less than what they are getting.  The longer you are in a situation like that, the more it becomes ‘normal’ to you and you may not even consider that you have other options and that you can start over and find the right person for you. I want every woman to have the book so that she can figure out her dating type and get started on the exercises in the Ms. Typed Makeover Kit.  Doing the exercises helps women identify what thoughts and behaviors have led them to an unhealthy place and shows them how to work on rebuilding their confidence and self-esteem.  Too many people overlook and dismiss psychological abuse if it seems subtle–someone doesn’t have to call you horrible names to be manipulating and crippling you emotionally.  You don’t have to wait until you are a shell of your former self to stand up and acknowledge that your partner’s behavior is hurtful.

You know in your heart if you are selling yourself short.  You can feel it in your bones.  You just know.  If you’re in a situation where you’re selling yourself short, all I’m asking you to do is to take it one day at a time to work towards getting yourself out of an unhealthy situation.  Rebuild your confidence and your life so that you can eventually feel strong enough to step out on your own and claim the love you deserve.

Wishing you all the best!

Dr. Michelle

Read more posts in: Dating, Dr. Michelle, Psychological abuse, Relationships