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Love is blind!

Blog, Ms. Typed

Far too many women and men are living in relationships allowing their love to be blind and ignoring important information about their partners and their relationships.  In my book Ms. Typed, I call the women who ignore what they don’t want to see or know “Ms. Rose Colored Glasses” because they look at life through a rosy lens that minimizes the importance of major problems they need to be concerned about.

“Ms. Rose Colored Glasses” won’t see the truth about the man she’s dating or what’s wrong with their relationship. She just keeps on going like nothing is wrong until she crashes into reality. Her optimism is helpful when applied to other areas of her life. But in love, it creates a blind spot that hides the truth she doesn’t realize she is strong enough to face.

Some of Ms. Rose-Colored Glasses’ characteristics include:

**She believes only the good things men say and ignores their bad habits and the warning signs that are signaling trouble. She talks too much and listens too little.

**She overlooks her man’s flaws because she wrongfully assumes he is going to change.  She patiently waits for a change that won’t be coming.

**She doesn’t understand that it’s what he does, not what he says that matters most.

**She acts too optimistic.  Her glass is always half full when it comes to dating, even if it’s half full of poison!

Many women feel trapped or unable to move on or out of their relationships, so they put on their rose-colored glasses to make staying in their unhealthy relationship more tolerable.  So what can women do to transform themselves from “Ms. Rose-Colored Glasses” to Ms. 20/20?  Start by trusting your own intuition and recognizing red flags.  Many times we know that we’re allowing our minds to play tricks on us and convince us that nothing is wrong when in our gut we KNOW something is wrong, even if we don’t know exactly what it is.  You have to listen to the quiet little voice in your head that whispers the truth to you, even when you don’t want to believe it.  When you start to recognize and acknowledge those red flags popping up around you that are signaling a problem, it will be harder to continue to ignore your intuition and that voice.

Lastly, don’t assume that your partner will change.  If they have been a certain way for a long time, they are showing you who they are, and you shouldn’t expect them to change.  If you don’t like the things they are doing, take off the rose-colored glasses and stop pretending that they are going to become someone else.  You deserve the best and you don’t have to beg someone to treat you right!

For more information on Ms. Rose-Colored Glasses, read the chapter about her in my book Ms. Typed: Discover Your True Dating Personality and Rewrite Your Romantic Future.

Good luck!

Dr. Michelle