|
 Q
"I feel like I have been
dating a bunch of losers! What can I do to attract a different type
of person and have a meaningful relationship?
A
Good question. It is important to sit back and think about how to
approach love in a healthy way so here are some tips on how to get ready
for a new relationship:
1)
Give yourself some time to heal and recover from the pain of your old
relationship. If you haven't already, be sure to read my April 2006 Newsletter article Can "Love on the
Rebound" Really Work? It is very important to start a
relationship from a healthy place so you have to work on healing yourself
and processing the emotions from you last relationship, before you can
successfully share love with someone new.
2) Think about what worked or didn't work in your last relationship and
what you would like to do differently in a new relationship. Keep these
things in mind when you decide who you should date and what you won't
allow to happen again. Sometimes you get into a new relationship and
re-create the same problems you had in your last relationship. Keep
the types of situations and problems that you want to avoid or that you
won't tolerate fresh in your mind. When you see things going that
way, put your foot down and draw the line.
3) Change your life in ways that will allow you to be a better partner.
You attract what you are about, so if you don't make certain changes in
your life (finances, job, education, spirituality, family, mental health,
etc.) you are going to attract the same type of relationship problems and
the same type of partner that you might need to avoid. If you meet
someone with the same kind of problems or drama that your Ex had, don't
feel obligated to date that person even if they are interested in
you. Get your life together so that you don't feel needy or
dependent on someone in a way that will cause you to use poor judgment out
of desperation.
Good Luck!
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