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 Q
I
have been seeing my boyfriend for almost four years. For the past year, he
cheated on me and now, the girl is pregnant. He has his own excuses for
why he had did it, but I remained honest and loyal to him.
Now, I have been introduced to someone else who I think I want to
date. My boyfriend really doesn't want to marry the other woman. Whatever
happens he won't marry her. Now, he wants to marry me because he's afraid
to lose me forever. And I had committed to give him a second chance. He
told me, "I won't waste this chance you've given me, I WILL MARRY
YOU". I am very much confused--should I marry him or not? Please help
me...
A
I suggest that you wait to marry this guy
until you see some evidence that he is ready to be monogamous. You
should give it some time to see whether or not he really will leave the
pregnant woman alone or if he will remain romantically involved with her.
You recognize of course, that she will always be in your life if you
continue to date him. If you marry him, her child will become your
step-child, which within a marriage is the same as being YOUR child.
Can you handle that and embrace this child? It may be harder than
you think. Even if you think you can handle it, don't rush to get
married. Wait a while and test yourself to see how you handle his
infidelity, his relationship with this other woman and your soon to be possible
step-child. He is fighting to marry you right now to keep you from
the other guy but don't let him ruin your life by marrying you just to
keep you to himself because believe me you won't be getting him all to
yourself.
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Dr.
Michelle
Ask Dr. Michelle