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 Q
I recently stopped dating someone. She felt that we could know longer see
each other, but she insists that we can still call and talk to each other.
I don't call, but she feels like I should still call her as if we are
still in a relationship. I need to know if I need to tell her that if she
wants to call me she can, but I don't have to call her. I don't want to
play any games with her as I stated from the start of our relationship.
What is your advice to me? Please help me. A The
woman you used to date wants to have her cake and eat it too. She
cannot demand that you continue to treat her like you all are dating, if
you are no longer dating! If you want to be friends with her that is
fine, but SHE can't tell YOU that you MUST call her. It sounds like
she still wants all of the comforts and benefits of dating without the
costs. Maybe she wants you to hang around for a while and help
transition her out of this relationship with you until she is ready for a
relationship with someone else. It isn't fair to expect you to treat
her like a girlfriend if she isn't going to treat you like a boyfriend.
Don't feel obligated to let her play with your feelings. All you
need to do is stand up to her and set some clear boundaries that work for
you. You are acting like you have to compromise with her (as if you
are in a relationship) when you don't owe her that. If you don't
want to play these games then speak up and say so.
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Dr.
Michelle
Ask Dr. Michelle