|
 Q
I
have lost my girlfriend. One night about two weeks ago she went out with a
friend, and someone called me and told me she was cheating on me. I called
her cell but she did not pick up. I went to her house and no one was
there, so I drove around until she came home. I went in to her house and
she told me to leave. Then I got upset and hit her. This is the first time
I put my hands on a female. She called the cops. She still talks to me and
says that she has feelings for me. She tells me that she needs time from
me to get over that night. I later found out that she did not cheat on me
that night. She knows that I have taken two anger management classes since
then and she is happy about that.
Next week we are going to a concert that we bought tickets for a
long time ago. What do you think?
A
I hope you know you won't get any
sympathy from me after hitting a woman (because of your own
insecurities) and now needing to find a way to make it up to her.
HOWEVER, I do have to commend you on being man enough to recognize you
have a problem and attending your anger management class (some people
don't go even when a court orders it). You are a young man and I am
happy that you are learning early that you should never do something like
this again, not just because you care about this woman but also because
you understand that being a man means not putting your hands on any woman.
If you are really sincere about getting back together with her you are
going to have to take it slow because she has to rebuild her trust in you.
You need to get your jealousy and insecurity under control. If you
can't love without being overly possessive, the urge to reach out and hurt
her might return. Learn to relax and trust her. In time, if
you keep a cool head, she will begin to trust you again.
|
Dr.
Michelle
Ask Dr. Michelle